Living Life With Grace Through Yoga

I recently experienced a major milestone. It was the 20th year anniversary of my yoga practice. I first discovered yoga during my university days, and it has since been a major component of my life. It has remained a constant throughout all of the life stages that I have passed through. My yoga has evolved with me as I matured from a young single woman into marriage, pregnancy and parenthood. Yoga, in all its manifestations, has enabled me to live my life with grace. Throughout the past 20 years I have successfully woven yoga into the fabric of my hectic life, and it has greatly helped to sustain me.

As a professional and mother of three young children, the struggle to achieve a sense of balance in my life is ongoing. In addition to nurturing myself and my marriage, providing for my children’s needs and schedules, managing the household and housework, I also run a business and teach weekly yoga classes and workshops to kids, adults and families. I am blessed to have discovered many valuable work-life balance tools which I strive to daily implement in my journey towards balance and wholeness.

Yoga is a Sanskrit word that literally means “yoke” or “union”. Through the process of yoga, we bring into unity the three aspects of the self: mind, body and spirit. We also create a balance between active practice and passive surrender. Harmony is created inside of ourselves as all aspects come together like the different performers playing a symphony.

Over the past few years, yoga has moved rapidly into the mainstream. However, the very essence of what yoga is at risk for becoming lost due to the commercialization of yoga. Yoga is about so much more than the attractive appearance of the superstars and models doing yoga and the vast array of props, products and paraphernalia available. The 5000 year tradition of yoga is becoming diluted as yoga offshoots and hybrid forms of yoga are being developed, as studios pop up on every corner as quick money-making ventures, and as the advertising industry at times misrepresents yoga in campaigns that distort its meaning and value. As the marketing of spirituality and the false pursuit of the body beautiful is promoted, people believe that enlightenment and inner beauty can be bought. So for the average woman interested in pursuing yoga, how can she understand what yoga is really about? And how can she learn to apply its richness to her life?

Understanding the Yoga Journey

Beginners come to yoga for relief from stress, physical issues or pain. If the practitioner is consistent in her practice - even just weekly - she observes that her posture begins to improve. If she does miss a class, she finds that she really felt its absence in her week. She discovers to her delight that the body and the postures are really just tools to teach her how to quiet the mind and to connect with her inner self. And that the key to achieving balance in her life is in accessing this center.

The student comes into class, and stands on her mat. The practice begins. The breath has new meaning. Possibly for the very first time ever, there is a new awareness of breath and of the breathing process. The brain cells begin to settle, and there is a meditative quality in practicing the poses. The intense focus on the body and the execution of the postures, or asanas, increase one’s concentration and attention span. All other unrelated thoughts are absent. Challenge and pleasure in movement is felt. The normal experience of an hour or two is altered: time dissipates. Then class is over - the fluctuations of the mind are stilled, the body is well stretched, muscles toned and joints lubricated, tensions are released. The student joyfully steps off her mat and into her world outside of the studio.

Chaos ensues. Traffic jams. Late for car-pool. Deadline at work looms. Return home. One child’s scraped knee, another battle between siblings. While on the phone asking her partner to pick up milk, the pot boils over, the baby spills the can of apple juice and someone is at the door. What happened to the tranquility of the yoga studio? How to remain calm in the present moment without the desire to flee? Where to find the inner point of stillness that the teacher referred to?

There are no easy answers, magic formulas or simple roadmaps to follow. However, committing to a consistent practice of yoga over time does teach you how to return to your center when needed. In class, as you quiet your thoughts, observe your breath and follow the instructions being given while in a pose you learn how to stay fully connected with yourself in the moment. As you learn to detach from external stimuli and distractions and to take your awareness inwards, you are drawn to your core. You begin to discover your own sense of stability, strength, balance and calm. Learning to stand firmly in the basic standing posture called “tadasana” or mountain pose, creates a sense of grounding from the feet. As the rooting in the feet occurs, the spine and spirit begin to ascend up. Eventually, regardless of what surrounds you, you will be able to maintain your poise, steadiness and focus. Then when you have stepped off the mat and into your life, you will be well equipped to tackle whatever challenge presents itself to you with equanimity and grace.

The Joys and Rewards of Living Life through Yoga

Yoga has provided a baseline and a framework for my life. For the past 30 years, I have never missed a day of yoga practice. I view my world from the yoga ‘lens.’ Yoga is so much more than just the physical process. It has enabled me to integrate all aspects of myself and to strive to live an authentic life in which work, family and personal needs merge and balance.

The yoga philosophies, both ethical and moral constraints, the lifestyle of moderation in diet and all endeavors, walking the middle path, interacting without judgment and with compassion, and understanding the interconnections among all living things are just some of the ways in which yoga permeates and guides my actions and thoughts.

Through my yoga practice, I have been able to create time for myself. While savoring the solitude, the practice provides me with a balance against the myriad of responsibilities I face, as well as the hectic pace of life.

During my practice, I draw inward and access the ‘Divine’ within. I experience my creative spirit, and my intuition. It is from my inner core that I am able to experience my authenticity, my strength, and my stability. When practicing pranayama, or breath control, I connect with my breath, and with my inner organic body. From this point of stillness and integration I feel energized and calmed, and am thus able to interact with others with clarity, patience and compassion.

Yoga has been a gift of health to me in my life, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It has helped me to maintain my physical strength and flexibility, to increase balance, coordination and grace. It has enabled me to move through three pregnancies with joy, awe and appreciation and has further assisted me in my acceptance of life stage changes and my transitions through them.

I am honoured to be a conduit to pass on the blessings of yoga to my mother, my three young children, and husband, and to my students.

Using Yoga in Healing Practice

In the Fall of 2001, my mother began to experience physical limitations due to osteo arthritis, sciatica and back pain. At 78- years of age, she turned to yoga to maintain her mobility, manage her pain, and soothe her spirit. Due to her serious and oftentimes debilitating physical issues, her yoga has been practiced primarily for relief from aches and pains, and for gaining physical benefits. Supports like the wall, and props such as chairs, wooden blocks and belts, as developed by B.K.S. Iyengar, have often been utilized during her practice.

Due to yoga, her body awareness and her posture have greatly improved. As she practices standing postures, she practices lifting her trunk up as she extends and lengthens her psoas and abdominal muscles. After the first time that my mother practiced a new resting pose on her own, I received a phone call from her. She stated, “You’ll never guess what happened? I fell asleep for twenty minutes while doing this pose!”

Establishing a new routine for someone at this stage of life is not easy and there have been some pitfalls along the way. Yet despite the difficulty in maintaining motivation and consistency with her yoga practice, my mother has remained committed to her yoga. As positive results continue to occur, she has come to enjoy and trust in the yoga process. Yoga has given my mother hope, healing and health. And after a lifetime of selfless giving, it is such a pleasure to see her learning to take time for herself and responsibility for self-care.

When practicing yoga together, my mother, my children and myself may all be in the same pose but in three different ways. Poses may be modified to meet each person’s needs for we each have different abilities and are at different stages of life. At times my children act as my assistants, helping their grandmother in a pose and there is always much laughter in the room. Yoga is a highly individualized process and may mean different things for different people. When doing yoga together, grandmother, daughter and grandchildren experience this ancient healing art nonverbally, and this connects all of us in a deep manner.

As I have become the conduit to carry the gifts of yoga to my mother and to my children, my roles as daughter, mother and teacher merge, and I am an active partner in their journeys. Interestingly enough, a role reversal occurs as I become caregiver to my mother while also being a role-model of living a healthy lifestyle for my children. This unique triad involving three generations practicing yoga together is a very special gift in my life. I feel immense gratitude for the opportunity to touch the lives of those I love so dearly through the yoga teachings. Regardless of what stage of life we are at, we hold the key to achieving balance in our lives. With this, we can practice our yoga on or off the mat.

Embracing the two pillars: Silence and Stillness

Chitta vritti nirodha “Stilling the fluctuations of consciousness” Yoga Sutra I.2

Driving home from the hospital one evening in April, my cousin asked me in a mildly suggestive tone if I would be taking the summer off. My father had just survived his third heart attack in nine months. My answer was very quick and the decision was made without any conscious thought. Lacking any censorship, I spontaneously replied, “I guess so. Yes. I will take the time off.” My cousin wisely intuited - before I did - that I would soon need to seek the balance that I value so much in my life.

If I am to teach yoga with integrity, I have to implement the teachings in my life. Yogis are committed to consciously and regularly harmonizing their nervous systems. So I packed up, and headed north, longing for moments of silence and stillness. Arriving at the lake, I was as excited as a child opening up birthday presents. Home again, in the family cottage of my childhood. Here, the prana, or life force from the lake and the sky is intense. The changing light, the fresh air, the beavers and Canadian geese… this is truly abundance. Having chosen to disconnect from the usual bombardment of technology in order to reconnect, music plays occasionally but the television and computer remain off almost all of the time. The rhythm of the days is slow. Most importantly, in those special moments of silence and stillness, I feel peace, contentment and joy.

Each day as I kayak, and practise my yoga, I surrender to stillness. The many lessons of almost three decades of yoga studies arise in my awareness. In those perfect moments of unity between my body, mind and emotions, I feel my connection to the Divine spirit, and gratitude for the understanding that all that is really needed is found within. Objects may be beautiful and we do derive pleasure from them but to seek anything more from those sources is to miss the truth. For example, an old dining room table has recently been passed on to us. It has been interesting to observe others feedback (and even judgment) over our decision to leave the table uncovered in order to enjoy the luster of the wood and to appreciate the inlaid handwork. For some, the desire to protect the table for the future takes precedence over appreciating it in the present moment. Experiencing an open heart, appreciating beauty and creativity, living simply, and accessing and sharing all the love that is within, is what creates lasting fulfillment.

Absorbing the silence of the lake, the stilling of the fluctuations of my mind begins to unfold and to reign over the usual distractions. I begin to achieve inner stillness. I feel calm. These changes occur whether I am kayaking, meditating, or practicing yoga. Yesterday, I observed the same gradual relaxation in my son as I guided him through a yoga practise. The sun was soon to set, and the lake was quiet. We were on the deck. His first pose was a relaxation one, and as soon as he lay down on the mat and saw where he was, he liked it. In one of the final poses, he was lying perpendicular to the stairs, and right at the edge of them. He had a blanket roller under his neck and his head dangled freely, resting very lightly on a step. His view was inverted, his perspective changed, and he spoke of his pleasure. The time spent together was really lovely. He said “thank you” at the end of the practise; yet the gratitude was mine, and I felt incredibly blessed.

Silence. Stillness. These are magic words and they are my path to tranquility, harmony and balance. At most times they are a challenge to find for they are elusive. When found, they can be difficult to stay with or to experience. When I recognize that I need to step back, to honour the gift of life that I have been given, and to reconnect with all that is important, I pursue experiences that can provide me with both silence and stillness. In my pursuit of balance and well-being, silence and stillness are the two pillars.

Temmi Ungerman Sears

“Learn to be silent. Let your quiet mind listen, and absorb.” – Pythagorus

Lessons of Truthfulness and Integrity (Satya) - March 2010

Lately, I have experienced different situations in which dishonesty has upset the equilibrium of a normally balanced existence. Individuals can be robbed of their sense of trust – in the short-term, by means of words and manipulations, or in the long-term, by actions. Most recently, I had experienced verbal onslaughts and distortions of reality by someone who intended to be hurtful during a time of family crisis. Then, my Ipod was stolen from my beach bag in an area that had long been considered safe. This brazen action occurred right next to my husband and daughter who were both napping at the time.

Another incident that affected me in the past month occurred over a decorative bench. In my efforts to source one for our bedroom, I found a bench in an antique store and bought it with the understanding that I could return it for a full refund if not suitable. The owners also told me that the bench was from the Victorian era. When the upholsterer came out to provide an estimate for recovering it, a story of deceit began to unfold. He said that the bench was a replica from China, and that he could not recover it. When I contacted one of the owners of the store to inform her that I would be returning the bench as previously agreed upon, she now stated that her policy was “store credit only.” The money itself didn’t matter to me at all; the feeling that I had been intentionally misled prevailed and disturbed me. It was the blatant lack of integrity and truthfulness that I found extremely upsetting in these different situations.

Satya, meaning truthfulness, and honesty, is the second of the five Yamas, which are considered codes of restraint and self-regulations, and involve our relationship with other people and the external world. Sutra II, 36, of the second pada, or chapter of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras states, “Dedicated to truth and integrity (Satya), our thoughts words, and actions gain the power to manifest.” Thus, for one who increasingly practices honesty or truthfulness in actions, speech, and thoughts, his or her will is naturally fulfilled. We are encouraged to practice exercising care in speaking truth, and that truth is concurrence between thought, word and deed. We are encouraged to be always mindful of the most important practice, which is to cause no harm. The same principal applies to practicing the other four Yamas.

These experiences, though very disheartening, remind me of what is really important, and how being ethical, kind, and honest is of utmost importance. My father has always said that a man’s word is his bond, and that there is nothing more important than that. As we learn to live in Satya, we become familiar with where truth and integrity lie. When someone chooses to take advantage of another, and manipulate circumstance in their favour without regard for anyone else, it is extremely disturbing.

As these simple lessons guide me to remain focused on what is meaningful and what is right, the bench has become a symbol of what platform I wish to stand on and speak from. The Buddha taught us about the Right Path, and Patanjali provided us with the Yoga Sutras. Though misled, set-up, and stolen from, these incidents were opportunities to view my path with greater clarity and purpose. In so doing, I renew my commitment to practise mindfulness and Satya every step of the way.

“Most people will not remember what you said or what you did. But they will remember how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

From Injury to Alignment, Winter 2010

At the end of a full week lived with my usual fast pace, I strained a muscle in my lower back. All plans for the day came to a halt and I immediately put myself into yoga postures as part of a specialized back recovery yoga practise that would help facilitate the healing. One of the stressors that contributed to my injury was visiting with my uncle the previous day, and observing his rapid loss of quality of life, descent into dementia and inability to get out of bed. Saddened by this and also focused on other family issues while managing all aspects of home life and work, my body was containing many intense feelings. I was primed for it to respond as it did. No matter that I have studied and practiced yoga for more than half of my life, my own vulnerability and susceptibility to stress still occasionally manifests itself in familiar yet painful ways.

I felt intense pain in my lumbar spine but knew that I would be able to ride through it over the course of a few days if I trusted the yoga therapy process. I needed to continue to honour the pain as my teacher in order to learn what I needed to at this time. Iyengar yoga is so powerful in all ways and especially in its therapeutic application. My friend, (not a yoga practitioner) dropped in just as I was working through the correct sequence of poses coupled with the necessary usage of props and adaptations, and was amazed at how I knew what to do for my injury, and at the yoga postures themselves.

Iyengar yoga is different from other systems of yoga in many ways. Though not everyone is drawn to this fantastic methodology developed over a lifetime of devotion and work by BKS Iyengar, it cannot be disputed that Iyengar yoga is a gem for everyone. There likely isn’t much that Mr. Iyengar’s brilliance hasn’t addressed and healed in over seventy-five years of experience. During my ordeal with pack pain, I was so gratified to have been taught how to work in an integrated way with limitations, injuries, conditions and pain. When I apply the potent therapeutic application of Iyengar yoga to work through my own issues, I am then more able to support the process of my students and clients. For this opportunity, to heal and to learn for myself and for others, I am most grateful.

The lesson is given to me, yet again, on how the body speaks out loud. It carries and conveys the stress, the emotions, and the challenges of our lives. Our inherent areas of weakness react. Listening to what my body has to say, and working with it, offers an opportunity for personal and professional transformation. As I listen and respond both intuitively and intellectually to the needs of my body, I offer it what it needs to heal through the specialized sequence of yoga postures, conscious breathing, and mindfulness. Again, I live my life in tandem with my yoga. After my injury, my practise was refined to meet the needs of the day. I simply adjust my practise, and apply my yoga in a way that is health promoting in order to bring my mind, body and spirit back into balance. As I work to realign my Self, I bring alignment to my life.