Finding the Stillness

Life doesn’t wait for nor consult with anyone. Change can occur in any moment. So practise. Be present. Learn where your center is and how to access it for when you need to go there. My sweet fifteen year old, a strong athletic intelligent beauty had a sports injury a few months ago. An emergency room doctor’s use of the wrong splint on her fracture resulted in a hospitalization and two serious infections, one life threatening. Thankfully, antibiotics and time facilitated the healing and we averted having to face anything worse than a terrible interruption in our lives and a scare. The second time in a year and a half staying in a hospital advocating for loved ones, I again had to know where to go inwardly in order to remain grounded, calm and focused while still occasionally moving at a frenetic pace. In the first situation, my parents were both hospitalized at the same time. This past February, the work was endless supporting our daughter while trying to prevent her from slipping through the cracks in the system, unsuccessfully. However, I am grateful beyond measure for the many years of yoga practise that helps to weave together the fabric of my life. From this practice and the acquired skills and lessons learned, I was again able to tap into the source of my stability when needed, and for this, I am most grateful. When life is spinning fast, and stress penetrates the skin, when change is in every moment and time just marches by, I try to move through the concentric circles that protect my heart. This is done symbolically while standing still in Tadasana (mountain pose). As I breathe, I ground through the soles of my feet, engaging muscles while quieting the mind, and I move in to access inner stillness. I am thus able to stand inside of the stillness for postures are tools to help reach deeply into yourself. I remain on my yoga mat, literally and figuratively, for as long as I need to. The yoga mat is a symbol of the practise. It is a concrete manifestation that delineates the sacred space that one goes to when practising. It is a living mandala. For standing in the centre of the mat, the path leads home to one’s own inner point of stillness. This is found inside of the heart. When change arrives, in its simplest or grandest form, what is constant remains. The consistency of the practise, the strength of the connection with the Divine, and the rhythm and mystery of the breath… this is what remains constant and what pulls you towards where you need to be. It really is simple. It is committing to remaining present and aware, awakened in each moment – breath by breath, moment to moment. Life passes. Time moves in one direction. But my yoga has taught me to stand still in the fullness of each moment. When I tune into this place, my reality has meaning. My practise has taught me to keep coming to the mat, year in and year out, to keep learning and to live my life with the understanding of what it means to be alive and to be present. My practise has taught me what yoga really is. I don’t know what curve ball will be heading in my direction next. But I do know without a doubt that there will be one. And with humility and gratitude, I will continue to step onto my mat, to pause long enough to breathe with awareness and serenity, and to remain present in the Now. I will be standing still to catch the ball.

Seated in the Light

Would you choose to buy two lovely used leather chairs if you knew that an elderly couple committed a double suicide in them? This is a question that I have asked numerous times this fall as the opportunity to purchase these chairs became available. Family, friends and students’ immediate responses have been overwhelmingly negative. I have found this to be of great interest. From these strong responses, it appears that people are completely spooked and unnerved by the idea of occupying the seat that someone has passed away in. Yoga teaches us about the impermanence of all things, and that death is just another aspect of life; however, in our western culture we do not to have an easy acceptance of death. We fear it and perceive it as dark and scary. Hence, the common resistance to even sitting in a chair that had an appointment with death. Fear of death is a major cause of human suffering. Thousands of years ago Sage Patanjali wrote in his text, the Yoga Sutra, that the basic causes of human suffering are fivefold: avidya (spiritual ignorance), asmita (egoism), raga (desire or attachment), dwesha (denial or aversion) and abhinivesha (fear of death or clinging to life). We can gain a deeper understanding of our own death and insight into that which is deathless by gaining insight into these five aspects of suffering. In Hinduism and Buddhism, death is viewed as just one minor event in a cyclic process of rebirth and transmigration. From a Yogic perspective, death is regarded as an integral part of Life and emphasizes the importance of facing death before we die in order to not be overwhelmed by extreme fear. Yoga helps us to refine our perception and encourage a process of discovering what we are as human beings on a deeper level including gaining insight into the nature of death and what is beyond. By going deeper into the nature of death we are provided with an invaluable opportunity of realizing that aspect of our Being which is deathless and we can begin to see life beyond the ego. Yoga can further give us glimpses into that aspect of ourselves which is unchanging, or undying. In our four-season climate, the seasons do change. Death, decay and dormancy within our natural environment can be observed as we transition from fall into winter. In turn, we also prepare for greater cocooning in our homes during the pending winter months. As darkness and cooler days begin to descend upon us, some people anticipate our potentially harsh conditions of winter with trepidation rather that with an attitude of receptivity and acceptance for the unknown and the inevitable changes that lie ahead. Last week, Deepavali, the festival of lights, was celebrated in India. This festival celebrates the light and abundance of life. In the west when we fear the darkness we can remember Deepavali, turn inward and rejoice in the inner light that is our true divine nature. By opening our hearts through yoga practise, and accessing spirit, we can choose to spread the light to those we care about. Through the very powerful tools of yoga, we can experience our energy, find joy in the longer days of darkness and choose to resist our reactive tendencies towards fearfulness or negativity. During these fall and winter months, why not commit to a regular yoga practise and bring to it an intention of sharing your inner luminosity with others by embracing change and finding peace and acceptance within the darkness? “The heart chakra is the seat of the soul.” -BKS Iyengar Temmi Ungerman Sears November 2, 2011

Meaningful Moments in Muskoka

In their late eighties, my parents have also continually reinforced for me the understanding that yoga truly exists off the mat as much as on it, for countless actions of compassion and kindness are frequently executed by both of my parents. Many deeds of pure generosity illuminate the essence of my father's spirit: his innate goodness. My mother's devotion to him and to her family, combined with the ease of acceptance of health issues, reflects an individual who is accepting and patient, flowing with grace, and at peace within herself and her life. Unbeknownst to them, they are constantly practising Karma Yoga.

At the start of my vacation at our cottage, my son went to rest, and my father suggested a ride on the pontoon boat. Going along with my parents on this hot July day, we travelled very slowly along the water's edge through three adjoining lakes. Cherishing the beauty of the moment - both the exquisite natural world surrounding us and the time spent together that late afternoon - I felt blessed. The lake was very quiet and calm, and we were too. Three hours later, we returned home. I was filled up with the sacred.

A few weeks ago my brother downloaded a Solitaire App on my iPad for my mother and it quickly became an ongoing source of pleasure for her. We have enjoyed watching her embrace today's most current popular technology. Teasing her about her new addiction, or sipping our glasses of Amaretto, or spending a few silent moments sitting with my father as he pensively gazes at the lake, I am given invaluable opportunities to practise remaining present which arises authentically from my deepest essence. In so doing, I feel my vibrant connection to my parents. To sit comfortably in silence, to listen with an open heart, to hear their stories and share their memories, and even their dreams -- these are golden times.

Yesterday morning my father shared with my mother, my husband and myself the dream that he recalled upon awakening. He spoke of his deceased sister, and the address "1188 Bloor Street" where she had run her poultry store with her husband. He stressed the address and was curious about the strong impression it had made on him. Intuiting it's possible meaning I suggested, "1188: you were eleven when you moved to Royce (and Dupont), and you are eighty-eight as you move your office out from there." His roots of seventy-seven years are currently being transplanted for the move that began a few weeks ago and is still underway. Possibly feeling uprooted, the address in his dream may have symbolized for him the importance of home, family, and neighborhood and of the significance of roots during the passage of a man's life.

A mysterious and exquisite experience occurred during a recent Scrabble game with my mother. On my second turn, I discovered a six-letter word hidden in the tiles that was so personal and meaningful to my mother at this time. "I have a word," I stated sheepishly and placed the tiles down. She then built on the word. We looked at each other and shook our heads in amazement. Perhaps the letters that I picked simply illuminated the closeness and connection that my mother and I share. Reminded again that all things are interrelated in beautiful ways, it is during these moments of compassion that I feel most seamlessly connected to the infinite energy of the universe.

And when this beautiful summer of 2011 stirs in my consciousness in years to come, my recollections will include remaining balanced while perched on the centre of the plateau watching my teenagers emerge into adulthood as my parents move through their senior years. Standing in Tadasana at fifty, I align myself and stand rooted in the unshakeable steadiness, grandeur, and peace of the mountain. I try to remember to breathe slowly, to love fully, and to remain receptive to the radiance of each moment. With this intention, I embrace yoga's tenets and experience the contentment and steadiness that it teaches me. As I unfold my yoga mat to practise in the same spot at the edge of the dock that I have practised in for three decades, I embody the light, and the learning continues.

"Yoga is a light which, once lit, will never dim. The better your practise, the brighter the flame is." - BKS Iyengar

The Value of Teaching Yoga to Children in our Western Culture

Having taught yoga to children for over fourteen years, I wish to share my perspective on the cultural differences that I have observed between students in India and Canada, as well as highlight some of the changes that I have witnessed over time. Just prior to launching the YogaBuds for Kids program in 1997, I began my mentorship with Geetaji in Pune, and have been most fortunate to have her guidance and blessing.

One of the earliest surprising discoveries was that the most frequently requested and favored pose was, and continues to be Savasana! Geetaji felt strongly that Savasana goes against children's nature, but ultimately I followed the children's guidance. Perhaps our over-programmed Canadian children's desire for Savasana indicates a need to learn relaxation skills, and this may reflect a cultural difference. At RIMYI, children's classes are taught in a very fast-paced, dynamic fashion. Though our children enjoy this, I have found that they respond equally well to a focused and slower class. Another difference is in the student-teacher relationship. In India, students demonstrate reverence towards their teacher, whereas on occasion, I have had to address a child's lack of respect and their attitude of entitlement.

Children are an absolute delight to teach albeit being a very challenging population to work with. Their infectious joy, love of movement and body, and their unlimited potential for change and growth result in wonderful experiences for all. The double blessings of being able to share yoga with these young students combined with being an intrinsic part of their maturation process is a true gift of teaching yoga to children. I am extremely gratified to have taught several children who have transitioned through the Children's' and Teen classes and have then become regular members of my adult classes!

The detrimental impact of technology on these young bodies has been evidenced in my students. Since initiating kids and teen classes, there has sadly been an increase of complaints of headaches, back and neck pain, from children as young as five years of age. I have observed tighter hamstrings, and less flexibility in general, and an increase in symptoms of generalized anxiety and psychosomatic issues. It is likely that the decrease of activity/mobility and the increase in hand-held devices (teens toting their Blackberries into class) have contributed to the worsened posture in young people. Thankfully, the yoga process addresses these concerns and many improvements are made over time.

It is my fervent hope that more children not only find their way to class but develop a lifelong commitment to yoga. It is only over time that the invaluable life skills, self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-management, improved posture and other transformational effects can be truly learned.

Note: to watch a recent Global TV news spotlight on Temmi's YogaBuds class, go to http://www.globaltoronto.com/video/index.html?releasePID=U7hHU7HpOUISPfHJYFKlfk_BPvTv4jBb

The Value of Yoga for Kids

Sharing yoga with my growing family simultaneously developed as teaching yoga became a greater part of my professional life. In 1992, I ended my full-time work as a registered art psychotherapist/family therapist, and established a home-based yoga studio. This enabled me to schedule classes around my children’s schedules and to be home with them full-time throughout their formative years. While I practiced my yoga, my babies and toddlers would play yoga with me, copying me as well as creating their own poses.

We began to regularly practice yoga together. In 1997, I developed and implemented the children’s yoga program in Toronto called YogaBuds™ for Kids. My children continue to practice yoga by themselves or with me and participate in the children’s classes and workshops. They are literally growing up with yoga as a natural and integrated part of their lives.

With today’s frightening reality of childhood obesity combined with an increase in sedentary activities such as computer and videos, as well as the increase in children’s eating disorders, introducing yoga to children at an early age is a wonderful way to help them to exercise, to develop body awareness and a positive self-image. Oftentimes at the dinner table, my children will assess each family member’s posture while ensuring that their own is correct. We all laughingly sit up just a little bit straighter! Children are naturally drawn to the fluid movements in yoga because it is fun, easily accessible, and natural to them as they are always in motion.

When doing yoga, one can’t help but improve with practice. As a result, children feel good about themselves because they derive an immediate sense of accomplishment, and their self-esteem is enhanced. As children become successful at the more advanced poses, their self-confidence increases and their motivation to learn more poses never wanes. Today’s children are faced with so many stressors, and in their fast paced world, they too need to learn how to slow down. Yoga teaches them the invaluable life skills of relaxation and centering. As much as the children are intrigued with yoga, I am intrigued that their favorite pose is the final relaxation pose called “savasana” or corpse pose.

Living Life With Grace Through Yoga

I recently experienced a major milestone. It was the 20th year anniversary of my yoga practice. I first discovered yoga during my university days, and it has since been a major component of my life. It has remained a constant throughout all of the life stages that I have passed through. My yoga has evolved with me as I matured from a young single woman into marriage, pregnancy and parenthood. Yoga, in all its manifestations, has enabled me to live my life with grace. Throughout the past 20 years I have successfully woven yoga into the fabric of my hectic life, and it has greatly helped to sustain me.

As a professional and mother of three young children, the struggle to achieve a sense of balance in my life is ongoing. In addition to nurturing myself and my marriage, providing for my children’s needs and schedules, managing the household and housework, I also run a business and teach weekly yoga classes and workshops to kids, adults and families. I am blessed to have discovered many valuable work-life balance tools which I strive to daily implement in my journey towards balance and wholeness.

Yoga is a Sanskrit word that literally means “yoke” or “union”. Through the process of yoga, we bring into unity the three aspects of the self: mind, body and spirit. We also create a balance between active practice and passive surrender. Harmony is created inside of ourselves as all aspects come together like the different performers playing a symphony.

Over the past few years, yoga has moved rapidly into the mainstream. However, the very essence of what yoga is at risk for becoming lost due to the commercialization of yoga. Yoga is about so much more than the attractive appearance of the superstars and models doing yoga and the vast array of props, products and paraphernalia available. The 5000 year tradition of yoga is becoming diluted as yoga offshoots and hybrid forms of yoga are being developed, as studios pop up on every corner as quick money-making ventures, and as the advertising industry at times misrepresents yoga in campaigns that distort its meaning and value. As the marketing of spirituality and the false pursuit of the body beautiful is promoted, people believe that enlightenment and inner beauty can be bought. So for the average woman interested in pursuing yoga, how can she understand what yoga is really about? And how can she learn to apply its richness to her life?

Understanding the Yoga Journey

Beginners come to yoga for relief from stress, physical issues or pain. If the practitioner is consistent in her practice - even just weekly - she observes that her posture begins to improve. If she does miss a class, she finds that she really felt its absence in her week. She discovers to her delight that the body and the postures are really just tools to teach her how to quiet the mind and to connect with her inner self. And that the key to achieving balance in her life is in accessing this center.

The student comes into class, and stands on her mat. The practice begins. The breath has new meaning. Possibly for the very first time ever, there is a new awareness of breath and of the breathing process. The brain cells begin to settle, and there is a meditative quality in practicing the poses. The intense focus on the body and the execution of the postures, or asanas, increase one’s concentration and attention span. All other unrelated thoughts are absent. Challenge and pleasure in movement is felt. The normal experience of an hour or two is altered: time dissipates. Then class is over - the fluctuations of the mind are stilled, the body is well stretched, muscles toned and joints lubricated, tensions are released. The student joyfully steps off her mat and into her world outside of the studio.

Chaos ensues. Traffic jams. Late for car-pool. Deadline at work looms. Return home. One child’s scraped knee, another battle between siblings. While on the phone asking her partner to pick up milk, the pot boils over, the baby spills the can of apple juice and someone is at the door. What happened to the tranquility of the yoga studio? How to remain calm in the present moment without the desire to flee? Where to find the inner point of stillness that the teacher referred to?

There are no easy answers, magic formulas or simple roadmaps to follow. However, committing to a consistent practice of yoga over time does teach you how to return to your center when needed. In class, as you quiet your thoughts, observe your breath and follow the instructions being given while in a pose you learn how to stay fully connected with yourself in the moment. As you learn to detach from external stimuli and distractions and to take your awareness inwards, you are drawn to your core. You begin to discover your own sense of stability, strength, balance and calm. Learning to stand firmly in the basic standing posture called “tadasana” or mountain pose, creates a sense of grounding from the feet. As the rooting in the feet occurs, the spine and spirit begin to ascend up. Eventually, regardless of what surrounds you, you will be able to maintain your poise, steadiness and focus. Then when you have stepped off the mat and into your life, you will be well equipped to tackle whatever challenge presents itself to you with equanimity and grace.