Highly creative and charismatic individuals with an
abundance of energy and intensity, both Robin Williams and B.K.S. Iyengar
created light and touched the lives of millions. They were geniuses, highly
innovative and gifted. Academy Award nods and a Nobel Peace Prize nomination,
both men will undoubtedly have their art influence future generations. Sadly,
Williams succumbed to the darkness but Iyengar, until his last breath on August
20, continued to be the distiller of the darkness.
B.K.S. Iyengar, or Guruji as he is affectionately
called by many, has taken his final journey. In the days following his death,
and on the anniversary of my 30th year since I first discovered Iyengar yoga, I
am inspired to reflect on Guruji’s role in my yoga journey. I feel incredibly
blessed because in addition to all that I have learned from him, Guruji has
shined his light directly upon me in the past year. Today is celebratory in
nature for it marks the termination of the traditional 13 days of mourning
after Guruji’s death and signifies when the soul is to be liberated. I
celebrate and commemorate his tremendous contributions to the world with my
sentiments, memories and words.
In 1993 when my son was eight months old, I left him
all day for the first time in order to attend the Iyengar conference at Glendon
College in Toronto. I was finally to encounter the 74 year old man whose work
had been so impactful on my life for the past ten years. Watching Guruji take
command of the room and hearing his first instructions, I was simply in awe of
his prowess. When Guruji asked for someone to demonstrate Sirsasana, or
Headstand, I was standing right in front of him and volunteered. He nodded and
I went up into Sirsasana. Guruji gave a few instructions and then placed
his thumbs deeply into my ears. I felt the intense pressure of his thumbs
pressing inward and then firmly pulling and lifting upwards. He intoned
strongly, “If you don’t learn to do this pose from inner intelligence and not
just from physical strength, you will have trouble with your ears.”
Twenty-one years later, I continue to feel the
indelible imprint of his thumbs. When I practice Sirsasana, I often
recall his touch and sharp words and try to understand and implement his
message. Guruji’s insight was profound because over time I actually developed
tinnitus and a hearing loss. Guruji’s intention for his students is to reside
in our inner knowing. I continually strive to develop greater intelligence in
my body and I try to guide my students to develop this as well.
In 1997 I had the good fortune of studying at the
Iyengar Yoga Institute in Pune, India for the first time with B.K.S. Iyengar,
his daughter Geeta and son Prashant in the 3-week Canadian Teachers Intensive.
This was the last Intensive that they would teach together. As I prepared for
the trip, weaning my youngest child was a poignant part of my pending
separation. But when the students arrived on our first afternoon and chanted om
together, I experienced shivers of excitement and tears of gratitude for being
in India at this time. During the teaching of backbends in the middle of the
Intensive, Guruji demonstrated on me several times. Like the lasting impression
of his thumbs in my ears, I have retained the memory of his slap on my outer
thigh and hear his compelling instruction: “This is dead! Wake it up!” Guruji’s
vision, his words, his touch, his presence … they were of a magnetism and
sleight of hand that is difficult to comprehend. During this trip to India I
also took the initiative and asked to meet with Geeta. She agreed and
generously gave me an hour of her time, mentoring me to become the first
Iyengar yoga teacher to formalize and help spread children’s yoga in Canada. My
gratitude to her for this is immeasurable.
I returned to the Institute to study with the Iyengar
family on four more occasions, each time leaving my three young children to
embark on another important leg of my yoga journey. On one of my latter trips
to Pune, as I was going up the stairs to the Hall I crossed paths with Guruji
on his way down. I immediately moved over to the side to let him pass and he
paused to thank me. I replied, “No, Sir, I thank you!" I then began to
express my appreciation for all that he has given and describe how deeply
he has impacted the lives of my children, my students and myself. I told him
how grateful I felt and he thanked me again. In that narrow stairwell, we
shared a smile and a simple, warm and genuine exchange.
As I became more experienced in my teaching, I began
to assist in daily Medical classes at the Institute. In June 2013 I was asked
to work with an American woman who presented with multiple issues. When Guruji
commandeered Medical class twice weekly, he also gave this student a lot of his
attention and I was most fortunate to assist him in his work with her. In
addition to getting the props that he requested and helping to set her up in
the asanas or postures correctly, Guruji would also instruct me on how
to physically adjust her. I felt incredibly privileged to be guided by Guruji
in this very important work.
I had also reached out to Guruji during this visit
seeking his support regarding a challenging part of my journey. One afternoon
his secretary Pandu informed me that Guruji would meet with me the next day at
5 p.m. I was nervous and humbled. In sharing my truth with him, he responded to
me as my Teacher. I am not sure why he chose to give me his attention but
Guruji was compassionate towards me during my time of need. Perhaps he
recognized my devotion or potential and wanted to help bring light to the
darkness that I was experiencing. I am most fortunate to have been touched by
this connection.
One year later, just two months before his passing, I
was again blessed when Gurujji replied to a letter that I had recently sent
him. In his letter he provided me with more feedback to implement in my
practice and he expressed his stated intention for me with these words: “so
that the integration of the mind in each and every part of the body is
expressed.” Guruji asked me to work hard for a year and then to reconnect with
him. He also instructed one of his most senior teachers in the world to help me
to continue to develop my practice and gave her specific directives. The tone
of his letter was stern and critical, written in his brutally honest manner.
Because of ego, it was initially challenging to read and hard to accept it as
the gift that it was. Guruji signed off “With love and affection.” This both
surprised and pleased me. I came to appreciate that this guiding light was
continuing to direct me towards my inner light and by helping me to remove the
darkness of ignorance, B.K.S. Iyengar was truly my guru. Sadly I will no longer
be able to communicate with him; however, the higher intention that he has held
for me (and for all of his students) will guide my inward journey and his light
will continue to shine brightly for all.
I have had the privilege to say that I have studied
with B.K.S. Iyengar, to be able to call myself his student and to have assisted
him directly in Medical classes. I celebrate my relationship with him and his
caring for me so near the end of his life. I was not among the first wave of
his teachers in the Seventies nor was I a root of the Iyengar tradition in
Canada. But I am a strong limb in the continuance of this incredible lineage,
and an active part of the evolving vibrant living legacy of yoga, of Guruji’s
work.
It is with great reverence and humility that I pay
tribute to this prodigious visionary who taught us that yoga doesn’t just change
us but transforms us. One way that I can express my gratitude for the many
gifts that I have received from Guruji is to continue to embrace the privilege
of being a part of someone else’s transformation process and to help their
process of transformation as it has helped me. I pay homage to Guruji with my
unceasing commitment to disseminate his profound teachings, to guide my
students towards their discovery of the true essence of yoga and to spread the
light.
“Yoga does not just change the way we see things, it transforms
the person who sees." - BKS Iyengar, Light on Life
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